let me clear this up.wampF!GHT wrote:I_wish_I_had_Edward wrote:Yes, your right he does try to control her which is unhealthy, but he also changes when he realizes that its hurting her by doing this. You can't blame the man for being protective. I'm how many guys have to protect their girlfriends from vicious revengeful vampires.holding.out.for.jacob wrote:are we allowed to discuss BD here?? we're not supposed to in the jake thread. but i may have made that edict....
i think it's fine to look for an edward but it worries me how SO MANY girls look at him with such rose colored glasses. i mean, some of the things he does are sweet in this book and i realize that they are used to prove a point but if they ever happened in real life it would really really worry me.
like, i almost wish SM would have put a disclaimer in Eclipse that said:
"girls. i know you all love edward. but i used his over protection in the beginning of this book as a literary device. if a boy EVER controls you the way edward was with bella, for WHATEVER reason, RUN."
now i know i'm probably going to get fed through the grinder for that one, but it was just an example. you could say the same about bella and her breakdown and stuff.
If your going to talk about how controlling is was you have to turn the coin over and look at what he learned and changed from that.
I dont think he necessarily tries to CONTROL her. He is just over protective. He is just so in love with her that he wants nothing to happen to her, he wants to keep her safe and he wants to be the one to do it. Does he go a little overboard? sure. But its not that he is trying to control her its just that he loves her so much.
i don't think he's doing it to try to control her. i'm perfectly clear on the WHY.
it's just that he doesn't have the right. he doesn't get to make those decisions for her.
i don't blame him for being worried, scared, jealous, etc. i would be too.
but i certainly blame him for his actions.
are they understandable? yes.
are they forgivable? absolutely.
do they make him a bad person, evil, a control freak? of course not.
does that make them ok? not at all.
the thing, though, that bugs me a lot, is that people say he "changed" so we shouldn't even count them, talk about them, discuss them, or consider them when considering him. that's ridiculous. of course we should. here's why:
he didn't change on his own. it's not like he was thinking "hmmm this is really upsetting the one i love and i really am not an authority over her, maybe i am not right all the time, and i made a mistake..."
it took bella's running away to make him see that he just COULDN'T do that anymore, because it wouldn't work. he didn't see the error of his ways, he saw that they weren't working.
not that i don't think he learned from it - i do. i just think that i would have thought a lot higher of him if he had backed off when he realized how much it was hurting bella.