Was Edward an idiot to leave Bella in NM?

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bkl
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Post by bkl »

I believe that Edward was a major idiot. whether he was noble or whatnot, who cares? He abandoned Bella. He abandoned us!
I don't think that his act was justifiable by ANY means. I'm just relieved that Bella is so willing to forgive. I don't know if I would be so capable if I were in her position.

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kvampireloverr
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Post by kvampireloverr »

i don't think he was selfish for leaving because overprotective paranoid Edward was trying to do what was best for them both.how can you live with the fact that you're exposing the being that you love the most on this Earth in danger every second you're with them? the fact that your brother tried to kill her? he just couldn't live with that of course one knew he just had to come back because even if evrything about their relationship is dangerous, that's how it is.and finally after leaving he can see more clearly that there is no life without Bella and she might be in even more danger without him.not so much physically but mentally.
of course the stupid vampire is forgiven :D
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Post by ouisa »

LisaCullenAZ wrote:
In my opinion, spitting on a gift would be more like... if I'd being handed Mr. Right or Mr. Perfect on a silver platter and I turned and said, "No thanks, I don't need him. I don't want to be given anything for nothing, I want to deserve what I get. Plus I don't want to be the lesser half of a relationship, so yeah. I'll pass." That's spitting on a gift. Instead, I believe Edward was more like, "I've been given a gift here that I really don't deserve and I'm actually ruining it by keeping it. I'd better give it up. It's the only decent thing I can do, so I will... even if it kills me."

That's my two cents, anyway. :)
In this instance we weren't discussing the leaving. We were discussing the lying. To lie to Bella, to so cruelly dismiss and deny his feelings, that's the crime we were focusing on in this part of the discussion. There were ways to give up the gift of love without denying and defiling it.

(although Cocoa's comparison of Edward's denial to Peter's was fantastic)
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Post by Sasha »

Visitor wrote:Bella went after Edward. And once she did that, Edward would have been five times more callous than any one could claim him to be if he simply let her save his life, let her express the depths of her love for him, and then leave her . . . again. So personally, I think he did the right thing. He put the ball in Bella's court. He didn't say, "Great, you love me too? Good. Now I'm your boyfriend again and that's that." What he said was something more along the lines of, "Even though I love you with all my heart, if YOU have moved on, just tell me and I'll understand." He didn't force himself back into Bella's life, he was granted entry. He can't be blamed for the doors that Bella decided to open.


Well, okay, yeah. Then again, I think the whole suicide thing was about the most stupid thing Edward ever did. That's maybe personal, though... I have no patience for people like that.

Someone said before that the fact that Bella kept on living her life (kind of) after Edward left while he went to hide in an attic in South America shows a difference in their love. I vehemently disagree. That has very little to do with different loves than with different temperaments... Edward is a brooder, and a sulker, and a masochist. He blames everything on himself and punishes himself for it all. Bella doesn't do that. At first she lived for other people- Charlie, Jake, her mom- because that is who Bella is. But then she did slowly begin to move on. Which, IMO, does not mean her love was at all less than Edward's... it just means she is a stronger person. And same with her being able to fall in love with Jake.

As for Eclipse strengthening Bella and Edward's relationship... I disagree. For me, it did little to nothing for their relationship... and, if anything, it weakened it. Edward started doubting Bella's love for real, Bella realized that Edward wasn't the only person on the planet, and both danced around the issues.
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Post by LisaCullenAZ »

ouisa wrote:
LisaCullenAZ wrote:
In my opinion, spitting on a gift would be more like... if I'd being handed Mr. Right or Mr. Perfect on a silver platter and I turned and said, "No thanks, I don't need him. I don't want to be given anything for nothing, I want to deserve what I get. Plus I don't want to be the lesser half of a relationship, so yeah. I'll pass." That's spitting on a gift. Instead, I believe Edward was more like, "I've been given a gift here that I really don't deserve and I'm actually ruining it by keeping it. I'd better give it up. It's the only decent thing I can do, so I will... even if it kills me."

That's my two cents, anyway. :)
In this instance we weren't discussing the leaving. We were discussing the lying. To lie to Bella, to so cruelly dismiss and deny his feelings, that's the crime we were focusing on in this part of the discussion. There were ways to give up the gift of love without denying and defiling it.

(although Cocoa's comparison of Edward's denial to Peter's was fantastic)
Oh, yes I missed that... and you're totally right. That's rough!

I think he tried it, though, didn't he? He tried giving up the gift of love without denying it, but when he saw that she wasn't going to make it easy on him then he went for the big guns. I don't have my book in front of me, but I think he said (when he came back from Italy) that he only went that route when he saw that she wasn't going to let him do what he felt he needed to. But I see what you're saying! That's really hard to picture... a very painful thing to have to do. To purge yourself the way he did. Ugh! I don't envy him.
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Post by rxtwilightqueen »

i have a strong opinion on this- edward had to leave because of somthing he cant change- who he is!!! if u lived in forks, washington it would be suspicious 4 some1 to be 30 and looking like he just came out of college? bella cant rly help but live wit it. edward left also to try to track victoria- 4 bella's safety.
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Post by Forever_Edward_Cullen »

This is a great topic. ;) Yes, Edward was an idiot for leaving Bella in New Moon because imagine how different things could have been for him and Bella. I believe Bella and Jacob could have still been best friends but without complicated feelings from Bella. Jacob healed wounds that Edward opened, right? I think Bella is conflicted like she owes Jacob some type of love because he was there for her when Edward wasn't. Not to mention, Jacob's liking started when she was flirting to get more information about Edward. It was like this doomed from the start relationship for Jacob. I would feel guilty too as Bella. However, it was justified for Edward. I was angry when Edward acted like he could just walk away and feel nothing "like I never even existed". My heart broke for both of them. I knew Edward didn't mean it. He had to think about his family and Bella's. He didn't think he could give Bella a more human relationship.... he is afterall a vampire. That's fine but how Bella could just accept it for face value was even more upsetting. I wanted to smack Bella and say, he doesn't mean it. You know it. He knows it. Of course, if I felt that intense about someone, I think I would have been paralyzed to argue with him to get the truth out of him. Therefore, I forgive Edward but I wanted to shake him to re-think his plan.... go away BUT not permanently.
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Post by Aros_girl »

Hoestly I don't think he was an idiot. I mean he was but in the right way. He wanted to protect her and he would do anything to protect her. But he had never left there would not be another book. No Jacob, no werewolfs, and no nothing. It would be the prefict love story. So no he was not a idiot just trying to do what he thought was best. But they learned from their mistakes, so live and learn.
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Post by inkspotroses »

I honestly think he was trying to do good. He left Bella thinking it would be better/ safer for her. He felt it unnatural for a human to associate with mythical creatures and thought he was doing her a favor in leaving. I think Jasper's reaction to her blood put that in perspective for him.

Don't get me wrong, in Bella's defense, i would have killed him with my bare hands if i'd actually been there. But he never knew how hard it was for her. I think he should have taken better precaution and enlisted some help from Alice in seeing Bella's reaction to him leaving her.

We can't also forget he was also in complete pain by the desicion, too.

I'd say i have to be neutral or Switzerland on this subject.
Yes, Edward had his reasons, but he was also out of line.
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Post by Visitor »

Sasha wrote:At first she lived for other people- Charlie, Jake, her mom- because that is who Bella is. But then she did slowly begin to move on. Which, IMO, does not mean her love was at all less than Edward's... it just means she is a stronger person. And same with her being able to fall in love with Jake.
I disagree that Bella was moving on for herself at the end of NM. To the very end (of that book at least) she struggled with whether or not she would be able to move on for Charlie, Jacob, and others. But not one time did her inner wonderings on that issue deal wholly and totally with what SHE wanted. It was almost always about everyone else. But in my opinion, that is neither here nor there. Whether she moved on for herself or the neighbor up the street, the fact still remains that she did in fact move on. And being able to move on at all after losing what was supposed to be her one true love, smacks resoundingly like someone who maybe was not as in-love as originally believed. And I don't think that Bella's moving on is a testament of her strength of character. Because it's her character's strength (or lack thereof) that had readers so up in arms throughout NM and Eclipse. In NM, she was accused of being weak for mourning Edward so long and for forgiving him so quickly when he returned. In Eclipse she was accused of being weak for not saying "no" to Edward and for allowing him to 'control' her life. So how can the same character who exhibited the same traits be weak on one end and strong on another? Bella's ability to love Jacob was not attributed to any inner emotional or survival superiority over Edward. It was attributed to the very thing that Edward questioned when he left . . . her humanity. It took longer for it to show-up than most humans, but in the end, Bella did prove to be every bit as malleable and flexible as any other human. Because given more time, she probably would have given up and moved on. Making her just as predictable as anyone else. She would have had a normal life and a normal family just like anyone else. And later on in life, if she harbored regrets or sadness about the way her life turned out, then she would simply learn to cope with it just like anyone else.
As for Eclipse strengthening Bella and Edward's relationship... I disagree. For me, it did little to nothing for their relationship... and, if anything, it weakened it. Edward started doubting Bella's love for real, Bella realized that Edward wasn't the only person on the planet, and both danced around the issues.
On points one and two, I agree. I don't see how the events of Eclipse made their relationship stronger. Edward's absence and subsequent return simply exposed weaknesses in their relationship that were never before seen. I've said this before, but if I were Edward, I'd contemplate leaving her again. Because he was right to leave the first time. He would be right again. Could he in good conscious change Bella knowing that she could still have a decent human future, even if it wasn't the future she chose? I sometimes question whether the answer is worth risking both their souls.

And to address Ouisa's statement about Edward and his blasphemous denial of the all encompassing love he felt for Bella . . . I know you have issues with the lie. And I can understand why it would upset you (and so many other fans). But honestly, couldn't any one of us lie? Couldn't any one of us lie and utter hateful and harmful words if the end result meant that the person we loved above all else would be able to live? For instance: If someone were looking to harm my child because of something I did . . . if they had threatened and promised to do her harm simply because of her relationship to me . . . and if I had to face that threat and my child's connection to me with her imminent harm hanging in the balance . . . I would lie the best lie I could ever think to lie. I would deny her. I would turn away from her. I would say whatever needed to be said just so long as she was able to live. No matter what the hearing would do to her heart and no matter what the speaking would do to my soul. Because what are false words when the heart is true? And what is there to gain by true words when the utterance of them could mean the complete and total annihilation of ones heart? And maybe it is selfish. Because make no bones about it, harm to my child = my destruction.

I'm not saying that lying is good or that lying to a loved one is an admirable trait. But I am saying that I can understand what motivates some lies. And I understand why Edward lied to Bella in this instance. And if the circumstances were tweaked just a little bit (like, the story being based in reality . . . no vampires . . . etc :) ) I might have done the same.
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