SKITS #2

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emmett_<3
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Post by emmett_<3 »

haha poor jake.
but these are funny.
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lidiacriss
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Post by lidiacriss »

Bella: no buzz!!!! WHAT'S WRONG WITHT THIS PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edward: bella, calm down!
Bella: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Edward: bella calm down. Jasper help me!
Jasper: *laughing* no this is too funny
emmet: *in fetal position rocking back and forth* not the squirrels, not the squirrels.
Alice: maybe you should slap him, he's having hysterics
Rosalie: *voice heavy with sarcasm* great alice, thanks for the help
Bella: CAFFEINE! I NEED CAFFEINE!!!
willy wonka: what is wrong with you people?
Rosalie: what's wrong with you?
Willy wonka: that's not the point
Rosalie: your not the point
WW: SHUT UP!!!!!
rosalie: NO YOU SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Carlisle: why is everyone so loud?
Esme: I dunno
Carlisle: ANSWER ME!!!!!!!!!
Esme: that was really loud
Carlisle: sorry.......
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Laney Jo is Alice
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Post by Laney Jo is Alice »

(in reference to the old willy wonka movie, but still with johhny depp, by the way if you haven't seen the old one, you should be shot...seriously.)
*Alice and Rosalie sneak away to get away from the insanity of their group*
Alice: that Willy Wonka guy is very strange. What's up with Emmett?
Rosalie: ugh, don't ask. It was before you and Jasper. We found him the next morning curled up in a ball with acorns in his mouth.
Alice: ermm...well :? yeah... uhhh..
Rosalie: feel free to act like you never heard that.
Alice: okay. Bella has really lost it with that caffiene thing... crazy. but as long as she keep Edward happy.
*they walk up to a room with a sign that says "FIZZY LIFTING DRINKS*
both: ooooooooh.
Rosalie: suppose the work on Vampires?
Alice: maybe. only one way to find out. Come on!
*they open the door and walk in. they both take a bottle and drink it*
Rosalie: ewww... it tastes like... human food.
Alice: i know I- *they are immediately lifted up into the air and start floating
Rosalie: AGHHHH!!!!! I'm to beautiful to be suspened midair!
Alice: JASPER!!!
Rosalie: the bottle said to burp to get back down!
Alice: we're vampires! we don't have flowering bodily functions!
WE CAN'T BURP!
both: HELP!!!!

Will Help come? Will they always be trapped in midair? How else can they get the gases out if they don't have bodily functions?!
tune in for when someone else gets them out of this trouble and into some other kind.
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lidiacriss
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Post by lidiacriss »

ha ha I remember that part of the movie, I still like the new one better (the old Willy wonka creeps me out) but this for me was the highlight of the movie


Rosalie: no!!!!!!!! my beautiful face!!!!
ALice: noo!!!!!!
Rosalie: there has to be an exception in case a vampire drinks it right?*looks at alice* right?
Alice: ummmmm............ I don't think I can see the future if it involves Willy wonka or candy.....
Rosalie: WHAT!!!!!!! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Alice: SOMEBODY HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*in other room*
Carlisle: hmm........ do you guys here something
Bella: no
Edward: the sounds are to faint for your ears
Bella: ohhhhhhhh
Emmett: It sounds like Rosie Posie !
Jasper: and Alice!
both: they're in trouble *rush to the rescue*
Carlisle: well that was strange
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aribella_marie_swan
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Post by aribella_marie_swan »

im sorry guys that i havent writen anything in awhile but i havent been feeling good. you guys are doing very very good! i laugh a lot still! keep it up my friends!!!!!!!!!!!
~BELLA~

ME AND JASPER AND KNIFEE! OH THE EMO FUN WE'LL HAVE!!!!!

Ashley:We will totally kick arse!
Jackson:I dont know....they've got brooms. rotf!

Jasper chuckled, shaking his head. "You truly are one frightening little monster."

mrs.jasper hale
Wandering Through Town
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Post by mrs.jasper hale »

sorry this is really late but...nooo! Cedric died! oh and great skits everybody but i don't remember the willy wonka movies very well so i'm no help. and im too tired to write.

zerolover34
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Post by zerolover34 »

Emmett:I will save you rosie poo. *finds a banana* Banana! :shock: :D Oh how i missed you.
Jasper:What? :?
Emmett:You didn't see anything, Jasper please don't tell rose i have found my banana agian she will rip me to pecies. :cry:
Jasper:The puppy dog face won't work. :|
Emmett: :cry:
Jasper:ohh alright but you must not tell alice about my knife *caddles it*
Emmett:Dude you can never become and emo kid you a freakin vampire.
Jasper:I can still dream. *starts to cry* :cry:
Emmett:Oh jasper don't cry,*holds out arms for a hug* come here buddy.
Jasper:ITS JUST NOT FAIR!!! :cry: MARIA RUINED EVERTHING WHEN SHE CHANGED ME. :cry:
Emmett:Come on don't be like that your starting to sound like rose.
*Rosalie and Alice come in after being saved by some creppy guy*
Rosalie:What was that Emmett!? :evil: You better tell me now! :x
Emmett: :shock: um......um.......awe sh!t. :(
Rosalie:Your comeing with me.*pulls him buy the ear*
Emmett: :oops: Owwwwwwwwwww :cry:
*they go off and you start to hear stuff breaking*
Jasper:W.O.W. she's pissed.
*Alice shes jaspers knife*
Alice:And so are you. :x
Jasper: :shock: :( Crap.

Kendra
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Our Icy Affection
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Post by Our Icy Affection »

I didn't write these but these are tooooo funny!

sorryto break the chain, but these were tooo funny!
beautiful_eyes07 wrote:
LMAO!!!!

hahahahaha this is soooo funny

haha just picture it.

*total makeout session- Bella gets that feeling where she's slipping away from reality and falling into edward's world when...*
Bella: *farts*
kissing stops
Edward: Bella, what's wrong?
Bella: *blushing furiously* *mumbles* You might want to bolt now.
Edward: Why is Charlie-
Bella: Trust me, go now.
Edward: Why???
Bella: S.B.D.
Edward: Sorry?
Bella: Silent But Deadly. I farted.
Edward: Oh Bel-*snif* holy- *gone*

hahahaha
Paiger34433 wrote:
On the topic of farting... and emmett making fun of her. Here is what would happen. Edward takes Bella out to dinner. They come back to the house and things start to get...smelly.

Bella: will you excuse me while I have a human moment.
Minutes after she's upstairs in the bathroom.
Emmett: oh my' what the heck is that?
Rosalie laughs slightly but gives him an elbow in the ribs.
Jasper laughed and then recoils
Emmett: you're better off holding your breath then laughing.
Edward shoots them all a look.
Alice: Geez Edward is she okay'maybe she's sick.
Emmett: oh gosh is smells like someone just took a crap in my mouth. It reminds me of when we went hunting last week and those grizzlies left a little surprise for us.
Rosalie: but only worse.
Edward and Alice look at each other for a second.
Edward: Your right Alice'no more spicy Mexican food.
Bella comes back and they're all looking at her and trying to stifle their laughter. She goes and sits by Edward and she notices that his tense and that everyone else is acting weird including Alice.
Carlisle walks in and grimaces.
Carlisle: Emmett I though I told you to clean those shoes off from that grizzly went we went hunting— smiles sheepishly--' oh hi Bella.
They all can't contain they're laughter anymore'especially Emmett.
Edward: I'll be right back.
Runs upstairs and shuts the bathroom door to stop the smell from circulating. He shuts it so quietly that only his family can hear him and not Bella. His family is only laughing harder. Bella's cheeks are a little pink. Edward cracks a tiny smile but tries to compose himself.
Edward: Come on Bella. Let's get some fresh air. Maybe we could go to our meadow. Or if you're not feeling well I could just take you home so you can get some rest.
As they are walking out of the house'
Bella: Edward, I have a confession to make.
Edward: Well what is it?
Bella: I really hate Mexican food.
Emmett hears them and comments: apparently her body does too.
I'm happy cause these skits made my day! Ha, this is soooo funny. Its under quench your thirst and People I'm sorry but well what about Vampires and Flatulence? This thread is just too funny!
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dandyvampgirl_13
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Post by dandyvampgirl_13 »

You should probably go post those on the "THings That WOuld Never Be Said In Twilight" thread, over in Flight to Phoenix. Its a better home for them^^

Yay, Kendra's back! HI! *waves happily*
*skit... idea... brain dead....*
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zerolover34
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Post by zerolover34 »

you could continue off mine and imgain what alice and rosalie are going to do to the boys :twisted: yes i am back *waves back* but i think i am going back to my grams tomarrow

Kendra
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