People im sorry but well what about Vampires and Flatulence

General discussion about the Twilight Series Universe.
MoonStarWithWings
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Post by MoonStarWithWings »

I'm going to get Dramay...

It's naturalism, not realism.
Realism gets boring... they all go to the toilet, and it takes place in real time *cough*Big Brother*cough*
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abstractaction
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Post by abstractaction »

fantasia wrote:Hahaha oh man. I can just picture her letting one rip, and the sound is almost deafening to him. She would blush like she never has before!

I could just picture Alice seeing Bella fart before she does, and leaving the room...then Edward reading her thoughts and dying of laughter.
LOL I was just thinking that. I feel so bad for Bella now. I thought about that a few times, but I suppose that's just one of the things that the vampires must learn to ignore. I mean, they've been around for a while. It's not like that would be the first time they'd be around someone who did that. But it's amusing to think about, nonetheless.
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Paiger34433
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Post by Paiger34433 »

On the topic of farting... and emmett making fun of her. Here is what would happen. Edward takes Bella out to dinner. They come back to the house and things start to get...smelly.

Bella: will you excuse me while I have a human moment.
Minutes after she's upstairs in the bathroom.
Emmett: oh my' what the heck is that?
Rosalie laughs slightly but gives him an elbow in the ribs.
Jasper laughed and then recoils
Emmett: you're better off holding your breath then laughing.
Edward shoots them all a look.
Alice: Geez Edward is she okay'maybe she's sick.
Emmett: oh gosh is smells like someone just took a crap in my mouth. It reminds me of when we went hunting last week and those grizzlies left a little surprise for us.
Rosalie: but only worse.
Edward and Alice look at each other for a second.
Edward: Your right Alice'no more spicy Mexican food.
Bella comes back and they're all looking at her and trying to stifle their laughter. She goes and sits by Edward and she notices that his tense and that everyone else is acting weird including Alice.
Carlisle walks in and grimaces.
Carlisle: Emmett I though I told you to clean those shoes off from that grizzly went we went hunting— smiles sheepishly--' oh hi Bella.
They all can't contain they're laughter anymore'especially Emmett.
Edward: I'll be right back.
Runs upstairs and shuts the bathroom door to stop the smell from circulating. He shuts it so quietly that only his family can hear him and not Bella. His family is only laughing harder. Bella's cheeks are a little pink. Edward cracks a tiny smile but tries to compose himself.
Edward: Come on Bella. Let's get some fresh air. Maybe we could go to our meadow. Or if you're not feeling well I could just take you home so you can get some rest.
As they are walking out of the house'
Bella: Edward, I have a confession to make.
Edward: Well what is it?
Bella: I really hate Mexican food.
Emmett hears them and comments: apparently her body does too.
My boyfriend: I love you baby.
Me: I love you too Edward.
Boyfriend: What?
Me: oh I'm sorry Jasper did I say Edward?
Boyfriend: Jasper?! (he gets up and starts heading towards the door.)
Me: No Emmett, wait!

Got Vampires on your mind?
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Gabbie
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Post by Gabbie »

IDriveFastToo wrote:You know how Edward stays with her just about every night? What do you do when one slips while you are unconcious???? I mean, come on, it happens...

Edward: "She's so peaceful and beautiful while she sleeps"
Bella: (sleeping) *toot*
Edward: "She won't miss me while I go get some fresh air"
OH MY GODDD!
I'm like,crying of laughter over here. :shock:
That's the funniest thing I've heard all day. -dies-
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twilighter1193
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Post by twilighter1193 »

Oh my god!!!! this is the funniest topic!! i loved that mexican food story!!!
I feel so bad for Bella now!
i LOVE twilight <3;
dandelion
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Post by dandelion »

Paiger34433, that was absolutely hilarious!!!

Poor Bella, not only does she have to worry about tripping and falling, but she even has to worry about involuntary gas expulsions hahahaha
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skyblue
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Post by skyblue »

fantasia wrote:Hahaha oh man. I can just picture her letting one rip, and the sound is almost deafening to him. She would blush like she never has before!

I could just picture Alice seeing Bella fart before she does, and leaving the room...then Edward reading her thoughts and dying of laughter.

oh you girls have made my day! This is one of many "normal" every day questions that goes through my head while I read. Now I got to sit here and laugh out loud! thank you thank you!!

Poor Bella does have so much to worry about then this ....... what about when she was in the tent with Edward and Jacob! OMG! :o
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twilightfanfreak28
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Post by twilightfanfreak28 »

lol. i love this topic.
*dies from laughter*

yeah. it is only the blood that smells good to the vampires, a fart would just be a horrible stench as for a human. :P
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futuremrscullen
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Post by futuremrscullen »

Tee hee :lol: Some of the questions on here just make me giggle. I would hope vampires couldn't sense THOSE kind of smells!
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fantasia
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Post by fantasia »

Paiger34433 wrote:On the topic of farting... and emmett making fun of her. Here is what would happen. Edward takes Bella out to dinner. They come back to the house and things start to get...smelly.

Bella: will you excuse me while I have a human moment.
Minutes after she's upstairs in the bathroom.
Emmett: oh my' what the heck is that?
Rosalie laughs slightly but gives him an elbow in the ribs.
Jasper laughed and then recoils
Emmett: you're better off holding your breath then laughing.
Edward shoots them all a look.
Alice: Geez Edward is she okay'maybe she's sick.
Emmett: oh gosh is smells like someone just took a crap in my mouth. It reminds me of when we went hunting last week and those grizzlies left a little surprise for us.
Rosalie: but only worse.
Edward and Alice look at each other for a second.
Edward: Your right Alice'no more spicy Mexican food.
Bella comes back and they're all looking at her and trying to stifle their laughter. She goes and sits by Edward and she notices that his tense and that everyone else is acting weird including Alice.
Carlisle walks in and grimaces.
Carlisle: Emmett I though I told you to clean those shoes off from that grizzly went we went hunting— smiles sheepishly--' oh hi Bella.
They all can't contain they're laughter anymore'especially Emmett.
Edward: I'll be right back.
Runs upstairs and shuts the bathroom door to stop the smell from circulating. He shuts it so quietly that only his family can hear him and not Bella. His family is only laughing harder. Bella's cheeks are a little pink. Edward cracks a tiny smile but tries to compose himself.
Edward: Come on Bella. Let's get some fresh air. Maybe we could go to our meadow. Or if you're not feeling well I could just take you home so you can get some rest.
As they are walking out of the house'
Bella: Edward, I have a confession to make.
Edward: Well what is it?
Bella: I really hate Mexican food.
Emmett hears them and comments: apparently her body does too.

ahahahaha, that's probably how it would go too lmao that's hilarious :lol:
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