Imprinting....As good as human love?

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somethingblue
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Post by somethingblue » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:06 pm

wendyb wrote:Sounds to me like imprinting is just a fancy, more magical way of saying love at first sight. When you lay eyes on someone and you don't know why, but you are drawn to that person. You have to talk to that person, get to know them. And once you do, you're hooked. You loved them from the first minute you saw them....you "imprinted". And its not that you HAVE to be with that person forever, you WANT to be with that person forever. They are "imprinted" in your soul....its your one true love.
Yes, Wendy, that's what I first thought too. But after some rousing debates with some of the most fabulous ladies (you know who you are!) I now realize that it is much different. The imprinter becomes whatever the imprintee needs, thus changing themselves to be the imprintees perfect match. So unlike love at first site, it hits you and you change. And for the imprinter, they have no choice but to be what the imprintee needs, instead of loving each other as you are. (see Ouisa, I was listening)

An excellent point from Pel that I'd like to mention is this: if a wolf imprints, then learns to control him or herself enough to stop phasing and grow old as a human, does the imprinting continue? Or is it ended with the phasing?

Also, what if Mr. Blue was a werewolf. We are married with two kids and nearing 40 in age. And let's just say he did not imprint on me. Then he comes across his perfect match one day, out of the blue? He has to leave me and the kids and be with that person, he has no choice. Does imprinting still seem so amazing then? Certainly not to me. And honestly, I was a fan of imprinting before I really thought it through. I too thought it was a strong and beautiful love. It has its downside to be sure. Dang.

Finally, not really directly related to imprinting, but if it is not the presence of vampires or the Cullens that has caused the rise of the tribe wolves again, then what is it? Carlisle and Edward don't believe it's them.

Thank you to December for the excellent topic.
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Post by HulloGrrl » Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:52 pm

I would have to say that after reading all the posts, I have to agree with everyone who thinks imprinting is stronger than true love (simply because of the "mystical" aspect of the whole phenomenon).

Personally, I don't like the idea of not having a choice in who is imprinted upon whom...so I would be quite upset if I had to go through the experience myself.

On a side note, I have only read about imprinting in one other series of vampire novels (and since this is a Twilight thread, I'll spare the details of it all), and it was a very positive thing. I think Meyer had the same intention with her version of imprinting.

Has anyone else encountered a different interpretation of imprinting?

Or perhaps that's a discussion for another time...
;)

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Re: Imprinting....As good as human love?

Post by sunandair » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:15 pm

December wrote:Is imprinting as good as ordinary human love? For the imprinter? For the imprintee?
Imprinting is really complicated in that we don't know much about it. We know it's supposedly rare, that the imprintee isn't compelled to love and has a choice, the imprinter has no choice, and that age isn't an issue. To answer the questions, I think it's not as good as human love for the reasons given in the answer to the next questions.
Does it undermine the worth of love if you have no say about it? Does it make a relationship stronger -- or less meaningful -- if there is no possibility that the imprinter will ever fall out of love?
I think it undermines love. Maybe it's because I've always found love at first sight to be trite. It really denies the imprinter a choice and to me love is all about choices: You choose to be with that person, to work on the relationship, to fix problems, etc.... It's like imprinting takes away the choice for half of the couple. I think that the imprintee may have a bit of a complex: would this person even notice me if it wasn't for this mystical force? Are they disappointed with who I am? Do they see my flaws and love me despite them? Or are they blind to them and don't know the real me?

I think there's a possibility of the couple getting lazy; the imprinter resigns themselves to never being able to love anyone else and the imprintee takes advantage of that.

How would you feel about either imprinting or being imprinted on?
I would hate it either way.
What do you think Stephenie wants us to think about imprinting?
I'm honestly not sure. I think she wants us to believe it's an instrument of Fate and that the couple will be happy no matter the form their relationship takes. I find it ironic that she says that Eclipse was supposed to be about choices, yet she denies werewolves a choice in love.
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Post by amontilado » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:18 pm

somethingblue wrote: Also, what if Mr. Blue was a werewolf. We are married with two kids and nearing 40 in age. And let's just say he did not imprint on me. Then he comes across his perfect match one day, out of the blue? He has to leave me and the kids and be with that person, he has no choice. Does imprinting still seem so amazing then? Certainly not to me. And honestly, I was a fan of imprinting before I really thought it through. I too thought it was a strong and beautiful love. It has its downside to be sure. Dang.
Actually Blue, I don't think the imprinter would have to leave his current relationship. Its a bit like falling in love with someone else when you are married..you don't actually have to act on it. Sure, it would be bad, because he would love somebody else, but he could surely choose to stay & honour the committment he has already made to you & the children.
I know Sam left Leah, but he was only a teenager & they weren't even formally engaged...in that situation I think it made sense to break up [and certainly a frequent enough happening even without imprinting].
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Post by somethingblue » Thu Jul 10, 2008 9:24 pm

Ahhh, Monti, in your most eloquent tenor, you make an excellent point. And I do believe it is possible to love more than one person, just like Bella loves both Edward and Jacob. But, if Mr. Blue imprinted on someone else, wouldn't it be nearly impossible for him to keep his family commitment in tact, since the imprintee and her happiness would be his first and most important priority?
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Post by Bkwrm » Fri Jul 11, 2008 12:11 am

NoWorries said:

"I can, in a way, see the point of the pro-imprinters as it comes to choice. The imprintee can elect (I suppose) not to indulge the attentions of the imprinter though, as Jake points out, "who could resist that kind of admiration?" So even though they *could* opt out, the fact that relenting affection is being poured on them *regardless of their feelings on the matter* strikes me as more manipulation (though altruistic, I'll grant) than any "real" sort of love.

The imprintee is effectively being manipulated into returning the affection being lavished upon them. Just because it's perhaps altruistic or, in the very least, unobjectionable to most, doesn't make it any less manipulative. It's a romantic war of attrition."


Thank you, THANK YOU.

Honestly, I feel sorry for the imprintees. To have such a *burden* placed on them - (yes, being loved can be a burden, if it's accompanied by guilt and expectations of the person who loves)

"You are my soulmate, I can never be with anyone else; if you don't choose me I will spend my life making you happy as a brother or father-figure; no love of my own. But don't feel pressured or anything! Just because you hold my future in the palm of your hand! I'll just sit over here and wait for your decision..."

Gee. No pressure there.

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Post by bella is my hero » Fri Jul 11, 2008 12:25 am

imprinting is both sweet and not fair.if a male werewolf imprinted on a girl then those come into play.for one....the girl has been imprinted on...and even though he is her true match...does she have a choice without feeling guilty?no she doesnt.it is sweet however because even though he just met this girl....the world stops and he would die for her.even without knowing her.i could go either way.

but what if the man has a wife or a girlfriend?what happens to her?oh thats right.she gets dumped and wonders why he didnt love her.gee thats kind of harsh.i know that man has achoice but if hes not with his soulmate....then hes not happy.its just not a win win situation for some.i dont ever want to be imprinted on.for that reason.
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Post by mandustries » Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:11 pm

amontilado wrote:
somethingblue wrote: Also, what if Mr. Blue was a werewolf. We are married with two kids and nearing 40 in age. And let's just say he did not imprint on me. Then he comes across his perfect match one day, out of the blue? He has to leave me and the kids and be with that person, he has no choice. Does imprinting still seem so amazing then? Certainly not to me. And honestly, I was a fan of imprinting before I really thought it through. I too thought it was a strong and beautiful love. It has its downside to be sure. Dang.
Actually Blue, I don't think the imprinter would have to leave his current relationship. Its a bit like falling in love with someone else when you are married..you don't actually have to act on it. Sure, it would be bad, because he would love somebody else, but he could surely choose to stay & honour the committment he has already made to you & the children.
I know Sam left Leah, but he was only a teenager & they weren't even formally engaged...in that situation I think it made sense to break up [and certainly a frequent enough happening even without imprinting].
I think you're right, amontilado, but I have to add something about imprinting that I (and others in participating in this thread) find somewhat scary ... although the imprinter doesn't have to leave a current mate to be with their imprinter, it seems like they are compelled to with a ridiculously potent force.

To use the example of Sam, Leah and Emily: Reading in New Moon the way the love literally radiates from Sam and Emily (Bella at one point says it makes the room thick with emotion)would make me think that it would have been harder to stay with Leah, no matter how much Sam though he'd hurt her and himself in the process. No matter how strong his will was to stay, I think the calling he had for Emily was so strong he had to leave Leah and follow his heart (and whatever organ imprinting controls). ;)
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Post by ashley_nicole00 » Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:10 pm

I have very mixed feelings with imprinting.

When Bella asks Jacob about Claire and Quil, she asks "doesn't Claire have a choice?"
and Jacob replies that she does, but it's hard to resist that amount of adoration and commitment.

I think that is weird, because if that were the case, Bella would be equally in love with Edward and Jacob, as they both love her unconditionally.

But at the same time, I see where Jacob is coming from with her being the perfect match, that they would be soulmates.
I guess I feel badly for Leah Clearwater about the Sam/Emily happenings.

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Post by amontilado » Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:19 pm

Hmm...I think I was minimising the imprinters need to be with & take care of his imprintee, that they are the only thing that matters....I was thinking he could deny himself, but of course denying the need to be whatever the imprinter wants him to be is going to be much more difficult* It would be very tough, but again, these are teenagers we are seeing here, & I agree the love that Sam has for Emily is very powerful, but he is committed to her & she to him, so their contentment is pretty strong....and in Sam's case it would have been pointless to stay with Leah when he loved Emily as he had no formal commitment to her, no family to break up [still hurtful, but no point for her in having a man who loves another]

I wonder if it would be different for an adult werewolf, already involved deeply with someone else, with children...I wonder if it would be possible to resist...or partly resist....look after two families? But I have to agree that his love for his first partner would be overwritten.

* I wonder what would happen if the imprintee, dismayed at the thought of getting "involved" with a married man told him that what she needed from him was for him to stay true to his wife & family....!!
Last edited by amontilado on Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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