Imprinting....As good as human love?

[glenak]

It is a bit strange when someone falls in love with a 2 years old child

LMAO!!!! Now THAT is funny!

Imprinting is a very, very strange concept. I think as good as Stephenie wanted it to be, it has very deep flaws ... like above.

[glenak]

I agree with you. But I think that only the one you imprint on (or the one who imprints on you) can make you happy and help you to live your life the way you want.

For example, if you have a husband / wife and children and even though you love them, you are not content with your life; you can't do what you want, or you are not happy with your relationship etc.
Wouldn't it be better (not only for you but also for your children) if you find your soulmate and are really happy instead of giving up your wishes and desires for your family?

I kind of disagree. What if you have a husband or wife and you ARE content. Sam was content with Leah. Sure, they could have broken up after years, but they could also have stayed together and be happy for the rest of their lives.

The fact is you don't know that. You can't see the future. Love is all about living for the moment. Living for now.

And then imprinting comes along and tears something good apart.

[SparklingDiamond]

glenak wrote:

What if you have a husband or wife and you ARE content. Sam was content with Leah. Sure, they could have broken up after years, but they could also have stayed together and be happy for the rest of their lives.

I agree that they were content, as you said. However, is he only content with Emily, or is it something more? Sure, he could have been happy with Leah, but it's Emily who was best for him. The compulsion to be with Emily that came from the imprint, gave him the courage to choose what was ultimately the best thing in the world for him. Yes, Leah had her heartbroken, but who's to say that even without the imprinting, Sam wouldn't have left her later for Emily? What is pure ordinary human chemistry had drawn him to her later in life? Who's to say that these couples wouldn't have been drawn together by human love at a later point if the vampires had not come along and caused the werewolves to change.

[faerie_kitten]

i have to say that i don't think the hole imprinting thing is a bad idea, or that it takes away anything from real, human love.

and tho the wolf may not have a choise the human who they imprint on does. i cant remember where in the book it said but it was something along the lines of why ouldn't you want that kind of devotion (really cant remember and am trying not to pick them up and re-read them for the millionth time till at least the week before i get breaking dawn.)
but it also says somewhere else that the wolf will be whatever that person needs them to be, the best example being quill and clair. he will be her friend, her brother but nothing else until she is ready. so although i suppose it will be kind of rubbish for the wolf if they are already in love with someone else (like sam and leah) i really think that if the whole orld had the imprinting thing we may just have a slightly better place. only cos everyone would be so much in love all the time

and i think that the love that the olves have for the eprson they imprint on is jsut as good and strong as normal human love cos lets face it, they aint wolves all the time, they are human most of the time.

[KellyAnn]

I think that Stephenie saw the challenge that Jacob presented for Bella. For me, because of the imprinting issue, Edward was the obvious choice; if Bella chose Jacob, there was always that possibility that he could imprint on someone other than her. I also think that Stephenie, maybe, needed to give Jacob the chance at love, too; and there is nothing besides imprinting that is strong enough to pull him away from Bella. I'm happy that Jacob has at least this one chance at finding love.

[NoWorries]

I am not down with the imprint (is it any wonder, really?)

To start, I don't equate imprinting and love. I suppose we are meant to, what with the gravity moving and the soulmate-speak and all, but I just think it's a different beast, entirely. Since I do not consider the two emotions/functions to be in any manner the same, I cannot then surmise whether imprinting is greater or lesser than love any more than I can imagine that apples are greater or lesser than peaches, because it all depends on what I'm in the mood for.

But *then* (a-ha!), if I have imprinting, my mood doesn't matter. I can never change my mind and I think that's dreadful. So much of what I, personally, find so fascinating about love is that it's a choice you make every day. There are times when I awake distinctly less than thrilled with my (uber-lovely) boyfriend. But because I love him, I choose not to acquiesce to my whims and chuck him out the back door (ok, so it's not that bad, but you get my drift). By the end of the day (and assuming he's apologized for whatever his transgression) I daresay I get to feel in love all over again, by virtue of the fact that I've seen him at his less-than-sparkliest but continued to love him despite it.

If I'm imprinted upon, that can never happen. I can never feel anything less than brilliantly smitten with my imprinter and, frankly, perpetually happy people annoy me. So I'd rather not be one of them.

Being in love with someone means getting to know and having to deal with them through all manner of situations. Being imprinted upon means never going below the surface of ooey-gooey lovey-doviness. And even if you say; "Well but they're soulmates, NoWorries! It's automatically deeper than all that sticky toffee love cake!" I will have to say, but it can't be. It can never be the same as knowing that you've loved someone through a rough patch. And that, for me, is wherein lies all the value of love.

So that, for me, is wherein lies all my fascination with Bella/Edward. What they went through in Eclipse -- what they've perpetually gone through since Twilight -- that's a rough patch. And for as much as Bella talks about how she never could have done anything different, she eventually comes to realize that yeah, technically, she could have. The choice was always there for her to make. That she didn't make it means that it was profoundly objectionable, as opposed to impossible -- as it would have been with imprinting. Bella was still able to get snarky with Edward and defy his wishes (which she knew would hurt him), but she was also able to come back and continue to love him. A relationship that goes through that is, in my occasionally humble opinion, more "real" than one between, say Sam and Emily.

But in the realm of mythical creatures, the "realness" of something is not only subjective, but also largely irrelevant, I suppose.

Plus, I'm sorry, but I find myself more than a bit skeeved at the prospect that the man (former boy) who was, to me, a brother-figure when I was but a wee lass, could eventually end up pawing me in the backseat of a late model buick. Bleccch. And no thank you.

[love4vampires]

I agree with NoWorries. Here's a good quote, "The most beautiful thing you can experience is the mysterious." Normal love is mysterious you don't know what's going to happen in the future, and that makes it exciting. I think imprinting is equal to normal love, there is still the same amount of passion. And yes it takes away the hassel of having to wonder if that person really loves you and you know that person will never break your heart. But you miss out on so much. You don't get to choose the person you'll be with the rest of your life. And yes the person you imprint on/ imprints on you is "perfect" for you, but you can still be happy with someone else. It might ruin a really good relationship, like Leah and Sam. Plus like someone mentioned, you feel better when you know that your love chose you, instead of being obligated to be with you. Imprinting isn't a bad thing, I'm sure it could be really amazing to have that kind of a connection instantly. It all depends on if it's right for you. And personally I like falling in love the old fashion way, being able to make mistakes, to get through rough times, and to have the excitement of not knowing what is going to happen in the future.

[Leah (SWACM)]

Alright, I'm back. And sheeze. o.O The pages are piling up. I can't even find my other post. xD

Of course, the idea of imprinting is comforting to most of us - how could it not be? Beeing loved, admired and protected for the rest of your life, knowing your wolf has no choice but to stay with you - how could anyone not want that?
But like so often in real life, the easiest way's not always the best.

I can't agree with that. =/ That one line you said- how your wolf has to stay with you. I can't imagine why he wouldn't want to be with her. He loves her- imprinting is love, not obligation. The person a werewolf imprints on is their perfect match, and their wolfy-sense just kind of lets them know. If a werewolf imprinted on me, I don't think I would ever think of him being forced to be with me. Because, as selfish or snobby as it sounds, I would know that he wanted to be with me. Always. That seems to be a huge part of loving someone- wanting to be with them no matter what happens.

I don't think that this really matters. Of course he wants to stay with her - because there is a power that makes him want to stay.
Putting myself in, let's say Emily's shoes, I would keep wondering: Would he have left Leah anyway? Would he have wanted to if he weren't a werewolf?

I really liked what lalaith913 wrote:

PostPosted:
I am going to go along with something that Edward.4.Bella said. While imprinting is described as being the strongest connection, I don't think it can be as strong as love or falling in love, if you will, because there is no choice involved. I think the greatest element of human existence is the power to choose. Not that we choose who we fall in love with, but we CAN choose not to act on it. Someone who has imprinted has no choice but to act on this impulse. Someone who is in love can leave, they can deny it, and no matter the harm it does, they can still do it.

For the one imprinted on, I imagine it would be a bit awkward. Having someone totally devoted to you from the moment they saw you. This makes me wonder: if you have been imprinted on, can you still choose not to go with the one that imprinted on you? I know that it was said that the connection is too strong to deny, but can you? If there is no choice, I think it's more a sort of "manipulation." Too harsh a word, yes, but to me, it seems almost like you have no say in it at all, and I don't like the idea of that.

I think an imprinted relationship is less meaningful because the imprinter can't change his mind. There is no fight, there is no choice. The love does not have to go through the trial by fire. There is no risk. True love can withstand any test; but how can you test imprinted love?

That's exactly my point. Just look at Bella. Not one single day of her relationship with Edward's been easy. She had to struggle with doubt, danger, abandonment.......but she's chosen Edward, each and every time again. Would this mean as much if she was a werewolf and had had no choice but to do so? No. It wouldn't have been love, it would've been nothing more than a very unfair natural reaction.

[MelissaSwitzerland]

So my opinion of imprinting. Imprinting trumps soul-mate. Its like with Bella and Edward.
Yes Bella and Jacob in a human world would have been together, yes they would have been excedingly happy with one another if Edward and a possible Jacob imprint did not exist.
But Edward does exist, he trumps soul-mate, so my thought is that imprinting does the same thing.
Sam and Leah were happy together, so happy that even a few years later Leah still pines for him, shouldnt they have been together in a world without werewolves? Probably, but instead Sam was given Emily, who trumped that and that may or may not have been a good or bad thing.
To me the most heartbreking aspect of the trumping soulmate issue is that someone will get hurt, poor Jacob, poor Leah...what happens to them? Have they just not found the one that will do that for them? do they have to hurt so bad when they loose their soulmate until then?
If it wasnt for the loose strings Sam and Emily would be happy together, are happy together but they still feel the guilt of what happened with Leah...If there was a way around that, if there was a way that Bella could not ache for Jacob and Jacob not be hurt when she finds other exponential happiness then imprinting would be great!
And there are so many happy examples of the trump love imprinting...Jared and Kim, Quil and Claire (though of course that is complicated but will ultimately be happy)
those are good examples of the joy of imprinting...but for the complicated processes? Edward/Bella/Jacob Emily/Sam/Leah where ultimatly their is someone unhappy?
Should it just be left in their or our own hands then?
but what would you give to be with someone who could make you happier than a soul-mate,
the characters in the book have given their answer, they chose to be with the ones that have trumped the others because ultimately thats who they give up to have that extreme fufuilling love. that is the price they pay and they choose it because thats all they can do to survive they simply cant live without the other.
and if you had that, would it be good for you?
yes, it would be. because no matter what people say about free will and the value of making mistakes in love...isnt choosing to be with the person that is at the center of your existance and tests your affection the most (ie giving up of soulmate) the ultimate test and trial of love?
ultimately Bella chooses Edward and he can ignore the fact that her diliberateing and fluctuating between the two of them hurt him for a while because when it was all said and done she still chose him. and Sam does the same, everyday when he hears Leah's thoughts in wolf form and knows that she is hurting he still chooses Emily because Leah is who he gave up for her.
Everyday there is a choice made. Just like with real life human love, only of course a little more dramatic. And the trials and mistakes happen as well, how many times has you significant other flew across the world to save you? or saved you from a stupid dive off a cliff?
Imprinting is what it is. It lives at our judgement and yet still exists in our minds long after we read the book because its contriversial.
I for one think it is the ultimate test and form of love and only the strongest experience it. Why else would only some wolves do it and others not?
Stephenie Meyer's books are about choice. Every situation, every complex, every new legend, are all teaching us to choose what we would prefer, do, choose to accept or not except.
So what does Stephenie Meyer want us to think about imprinting?
whatever we want to, whatever our choice is. We can make a choice, like the imprinting we can choose the easy route or the hard one. and I choose the hard one.

(sorry if that was a ramble of ideas that came to me as I wrote it, hope ya like the opinion

[inluvwithedward19]

i'm not so sure about the impritnting thing. i mean it takes away from the whole getting to know process and eventually falling in love with that special someone. that's an experience that they will never get to have. although it is the true meaning of love at first sight. i think stephanie describes it as a good thing for one character but not so good for the other. for example, for quil it was a good thing because he was not interested in another girl. as for jacob... not so good. jacob loves bella soo much. but he didn't imprint on her. that means that there is a girl out there that he will fall in love with the first time he sees her. i just hope that when it does happen he won't completely forget about bella. remember she loves jacob too. just not as much as edward. ugh but i think its for the best because then jacob won't be completely broken hearted. so i'm kind of hoping that he does imprint on someone.