Love and Mythical Creatures

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wannaBcullengrl
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dsolo

Post by wannaBcullengrl »

dsolo,
yes i know that rushing into it wouldn't be the smartest idea. thanks for your concern. (my best friend also thanks you because she thinks i need to wait too) i like bella see myself as a very mature practical person and know that i need to have a few things sorted out before i jump into married life. i'm willing to wait. bella might have waited if she didn't want edward to change her so badly. i was just stating that i believe us teenagers ARE ABLE to make thoe kinds of decisions about love and marriage
"Did you know that 'i told you so ' has a brother, Jacob? His name is 'shut the hell up'"
dsolo
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Teen Love

Post by dsolo »

re: Bella wanting Edward to change her so badly. She has some valid reasons (danger magnet, risk to her family and Volturi being primary) and some superficial ones (afraid of being too much older than Edward). I can see Edward's point that she should experience a little bit more human life, even a semester of college or travel. That would give her parents more time to adjust to the idea that she won't be around so much. However, Bella does need to be more durable and soon. She hasn't made it through a book yet without breaking something.

I do believe that teenagers can experience true love, but that doesn't mean rushing into anything that you're not ready for. Unlike Bella, the teens reading this have the option of getting some life experience before marriage. I'll tell them what I told my 18 year old niece when she wanted to get married - don't do anything irreversible (like have a baby), but everyone is entitled to make their own choices and mistakes in life.
chococat
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Post by chococat »

I made my decisions about my life partner when I was 17.

I am 30 now, married 6 years, together 13 years. Like Bella, I was extremely inexperienced when I met the guy who would become my husband.

It doesn't always work, but when you both are deeply in love and cannot stand to be separated--you forge a very deep bond ver quickly.
mandustries
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Re: Teen Love

Post by mandustries »

dsolo wrote:re: Bella wanting Edward to change her so badly. She has some valid reasons (danger magnet, risk to her family and Volturi being primary) and some superficial ones (afraid of being too much older than Edward). I can see Edward's point that she should experience a little bit more human life, even a semester of college or travel. That would give her parents more time to adjust to the idea that she won't be around so much. However, Bella does need to be more durable and soon. She hasn't made it through a book yet without breaking something.
I think the fact that Bella wants to be changed also comes from her constant fear that Edward will wake up one morning and not want her anymore (and have what happened in NM happen all over again). She holds on to the fact that he's perfect, and she's not. I think this is a sign of a lack of immaturity on her part ... a little voice inside is holding on to the superficial and telling her that she can't get any older than him without it causing "appearance" problems.

Which also ties in to her annoyance at being noticed and making a spectacle ...
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chococat
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Post by chococat »

sorry--double post, now how do I delete this?
sodapopper323
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Re: Teen love

Post by sodapopper323 »

dsolo wrote:WannabeCullen girl, I agree with your points, but Edward is mythical (and rich) which is not usually the options with most teens in love. Don't plan on getting married until you can support yourself, which usually means education and a job.
I'm not saying this isn't your true love, just watch the timing.

The main reason that most of us aren't as worried about a teen marriage for Bella is 1) Edward is a 107 year old teenager 2) he's finished his education (multiple times) and 3) he's rich, so they won't be living in a crummy apartment and fighting over money. Nothing kills romance like fighting over money when cold and hungry. Most teen love is like a hothouse flower. It requires a lot of support from other sources (parents). Renee was a romantic that jumped into a marriage she wasn't mature enough for. It's obvious that Charlie has never gotten over her (Bella has a lot of Charlie's steady, responsible nature), so both of them were damaged by that experience.

On another post, someone mentioned that Robert Pattison spoke with SM about Edward, and one of the insights he got was that Edward has been stuck in the loop of aging from 15-25 for decades. He's never gotten to have the adult experiences of marriage, a job, bills, and all the other responsibilities. For Edward, this marriage is going to be the first truly adult thing that he has done publicly (college doesn't count, as you're still not a fully recognized independent adult). How other people perceive you has a lot to do with self image. If you are constantly treated like a child, you will either be resentful or act more childlike. It's much harder to demonstrate that you are indeed older. I have looked younger than my age for most of my life, which is great now that I'm older, but was annoying when I was in my 20s and getting carded all the time or asked what high school I went to. The worst was someone thinking I was 12 when I was 19.
I haven't figured this quote thing out yet....so pleas forgive me if if doesn't work. I would lik to add to teen love's post that they also have the support of Edward's family which is major plus. I mean MAJOR. Even Renee told Bella that she is not a typical teenager. How many teens do you know that cooks supper everynight, laundry, and for the most part keeps the house clean. On top of that she also manages to make good grades and work. Being a fictional character I think that it is great that she has Edward.

Teen love I still get carded at 32 for cigs(which is a nasty habit .....so don' start). I feel your pain but I would have to agree that it does feel great at times.
Lindsay1278
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Has anyone actually thought about this?

Post by Lindsay1278 »

A lot of people keep saying that Edward and Bella's relationship is realistic and using "highschool sweetheart" stories for their proof. Yes, it's true that many people marry the person they loved as a teenager and live happily ever after with them, but those people were all human. Bella and Edward might feel one way now, but that might change after Bella becomes a vampire.

Right now, Edward gets to be the all-powerful, mighty protector for Bella. Their relationship is based on Edward's powerful attraction to the smell of Bella's blood and her feelings towards him for taking care of her and saving her life. Last time I read the books, Edward and Bella's alone time usually consisted of them kissing and Bella trying to have sex with Edward. He isn't exactly sneeking through her window at night for the great conversation. When Bella doesn't have her blood anymore, will Edward feel the same way about her? They have a mostly physical attraction, the mental half of the relationship is a little lacking so far.

Jacob, on the other hand, is still human even though he can turn into a werewolf when he wants. He and Bella both know that they could be happy together exactly how they are. Bella doesn't know what she'll be like after she changes, and she's actually expressed her worry about it multiple times in the book.

I think that all of their emotions and feelings are realistic for teenagers. Teenagers always feel like they're the first people to ever experiance such a perfect, wonderful love and nobody else could understand them. It's typical for teenagers to think that they're going to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend forever. They just have to be careful not to make any rash decisions until they have enough experiances in life to really know what they want. Hopefully Bella will take time to think about all sides of the problem before she does anything irreversable that she might regret...
"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."
twilightlvncheekana
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Post by twilightlvncheekana »

Bella_S_Black wrote:personally, I think bella is abit of an idiot. Sometimes anyway. She is all prepared to become a vampire ASAP, but she freaks out at the slightest mention of marriage. Erm, earth the bella! marriage an be undone sooo easily these days, wheras becoming an undead cannot. Get a bit of perspective girl!
and as for bella and Jake, I think it is realistic. They were best friends, and lots of people develop feelings for their best friends. If anything, that is a stronger love than other relationships, cause they really know each other, rather than just go on one date and claim themselves in love.
I've always wondered about Bella's unwillingness towards marriage. I mean I understand about being raised to not get married so young, but it just doesn't make sense with Bella's feelings for Edward. Marriage, in the true romantic sense, is much like becoming a vampire, it's forever. Why wouldn't she want to be bound to him in every way? I think that's the only thing that I don't get in these stories.

I agree with most of the comments regarding the love/decision/maturity aspect. Although, I do think that Jacob is capable of having a "true" love for Bella. He's young in age, but mature. He's been through alot, just like Bella has. I don't think that the majority of teenagers are capable of making big life decisions, because they haven't had the life experience to make them, but there are exceptions.
dsolo
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Teen love

Post by dsolo »

I have to disagree, Lindsay1278, on your views on Edward and Bella's relationship. He tried to get to know her better to overcome the lure of her blood and became fascinated with her as a person. He's been thrust into the protector role because of her danger magnet status, but he likes to talk to Bella. Remember the three days that he was asking the questions? He asked her about everything, including travel and books. Bella is very intelligent (advanced placement) and an enigma to Edward. In Midnight Sun, his first instinct towards her is protection from Jessica's mean thoughts. I get the feeling that Bella and Edward were doing the vampire version of imprinting in the cafeteria. They are both hyperaware of each other, even when they try to ignore each other. Also, remember all the stories are from Bella's POV, and she feels that she is unworthy of Edward. If you look at Bella objectively, she is very brave. She was prepared to fight in Port Angeles, she met James to save Renee, she went to Volterra to save Edward, she's not afraid of werewolves, she was prepared to sacrifice herself in Eclipse to keep the newborns away from Forks. She is very frustrated by the fact that she is weak. Just as Edward is dangerous, but not bad, Bella is weak, but not a coward. Bella is very complex, but the books are all told through her eyes, so she is discounting her strengths and focuses on her deficiencies. Most people, excluding Rosalie, are uncomfortable with praise and play down their good points. All of us are intimately aware of our flaws (too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, etc), but how often do we take inventory of our strengths (pretty eyes, good hair, etc). That's just physical attributes, we really don't examine our character strengths.

I hope this isn't too off topic, but Bella's perception of herself does have a bearing on her relationships with Edward and Jacob.
Lindsay1278
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Location: Searching for my Jacob...

Post by Lindsay1278 »

dsolo, you make a really good point. I just think that Bella needs to think about how her relationship with Edward might change if she's a vampire. SM hasn't put as much emphasis on how Bella and Edward's personalities fit together. Instead she's emphasized how they are physically attracted and gone on about how it feels so right for them to be together. That's a normal teenage feeling when you fall in love. Normal teenagers have time to make decisions though, Bella shouldn't end her life so quickly.

And I agree that how Bella feels about herself plays a big part in the relationship. It's hard to get a really good pictureof the relationship from one point of view. Obviously, Bella thinks that Edward is perfect, but he doesn't feel the same way about her. Although he tells her she can be whatever she wants and he'll always be there and love her (even if she gets old) he really wants her to change for him.

Right now in their relationship, Edward and Bella each play a very specific role. After the change those roles will pretty much be thrown out the window and if the change actually happens, it'll be interesting to see how that changes the relationship.
"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."
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